At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
