dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
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She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
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Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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