we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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