this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
