Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
