I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize