I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.