Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding