Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet