first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.