He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
