Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize