Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
