i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
