Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
