I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
