Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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