On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she woke up with a sticky ear
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
