Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
