I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
