Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This girl is more easily done than said...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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