Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
