She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
