I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
