I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize