Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
