Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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