11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
