Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
