so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
