I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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