i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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