nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
