genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
