So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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