"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
this is an emotional support booty call
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
