I think i peed on brittanys purse
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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