The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you traded sex for a burrito?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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