I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
