Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.