I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She's the barista slut.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching