I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
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Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How many fucks given?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.