Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed