brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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