I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
