im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
