yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize