There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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