Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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