Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That's intense
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
