whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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