I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Pooping to opera.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
