I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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