I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
