He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
