That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
only you would photoshop your dick
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
