ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How drunk are you?
Completed.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
