she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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