Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
