i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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