hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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