on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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