Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
