Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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