halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
