I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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