found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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